This entire book is full of well formulated and drawn out trains of thoughts, and I found myself thinking one thing constantly: “I wholeheartedly agree!” I initially went into this experience hoping to find a book to hand off to family and friends to say “read this, this will make you understand”, but I’m not so sure it will work on my people, personally. It relieved me, because now I’m much more certain in at least one aspect of myself. It was as though I was reading descriptions of myself, my own experiences, thoughts and feelings. As someone who identifies as ace and as “?” for about everything else, this book helped me feel assured that “this isn’t just me”. Listening to this book was a great help, comfort, and at times a motivator. Chen's careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don't want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that 'not wanting sex' was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything 'right', only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. What exactly is sexual attraction, and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the 'A' of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy. An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

Ace angela chen